Dear, you ...

If I had the chance to roll back the clock and alter something in my career path, there’s nothing I would want to change.

Some of you know that working in educational fields had never crossed my mind before. Well, I used to help explaining some lessons to my friends and they got to understand them better after. But still, to become an educator was not a dream. I had no such desire.

Starting high school, I started to think more seriously of my future. People always asked me the age-old question (I bet you had one too before): “What do you want to be in the future?” My answer had always been to be an ambassador and work in politic. I was one of those strong-willed kids who wouldn’t let go of my dream easily; no matter how hard others tried to portray another kinds of jobs more appealing than mine. And my parents knew it very well.

Yet, no matter how strong your will is, life is life. The reality is a big hit. Life only gives you what you need, and in most case what you need is not what you want. Pain started to haunt as you see others lived out the life of your dream when they had so little (or no) potential to make them qualified and deserved to possess such life. In that situation, you had no choice but to point finger everything else. You put your family and their background on blame. Not satisfied. You accused God for creating and placing you in that family. You insisted that things would be better if you are the one in charge. You tried to get your life under control.

Yes, that was me.

I was who I was until my undergrad life began. A lecturer and the founder of the university I went to, used to say things like “to see the bigger picture – the Master’s grand picture and not yours.” A hard pill to swallow, I admit. There came the lowest point of my life when another lecturer asked me to move out from the university. Not because I was academically behind, but because I did not understand that God sent His one and only Son to die on the cross for me. I did not understand that grace. I refused it; which was evident from the absence of Godly character. Pain was unbearable. It left me with bitterness; made me forgot how to cry. That was the moment – the very first time – for me to realize how much I’ve failed. Everything seemed to fall apart. What use of being the smartest student without the having the characteristics pleasing to God? Where would I end up without letting the Holy Spirit to work in me? What good is it in hurting the image of God? What is there for me to keep blaming and complaining instead of being thankful?

Struggling through all those, I am now convinced that wherever we are right now is the best place God has chosen for us to be in, to live for and to serve Him. In His perfect wisdom and knowledge, He sees through our strengths weaknesses – inside out – even before our parents met. He designs for you not the life that you want, but the life that you need; the one that He knows will shape you to be more like Him. I am the clay and He is the potter. And I am grateful for that.

Life is not always comforting. And for all its surprises, I am thankful. Without those struggles, I will not be as strong as I am today. It was nothing else but privilege to be taught by the Master; those lessons that others might have not gotten yet. I am also deeply indebted to those who always be there through my thick and thin, who continue to inspire me through their lives. No one is perfect. No one is left too far behind. For anything that you are going through right now, remember that God never gives you what exceeds your ability, nor less than it does He give.

This writing is dedicated to you who are struggling in choosing which path to take next. Do your part and let God do the rest.

I am inspired, hope this inspire you too.

Love,